skaterbrain | ★3 voice

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★3 voice

[Beat woke up this morning, thinking things would be like always. He'd railslide downstairs, maybe not hit Haruhi's wall for once, check up on Shiki, then go hide from school by futzing around in the Battle Dome for most of the day.

What he got was rolling over and finding an egg.

An egg.

Housemates of House 10 can hear him screaming, as will neighbors most likely. In his panic, he grabs his journal and turns it on, facing the camera toward the little white egg in his bed.]

THE HELL DO I DO?! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!

RIBBONS!

I AIN'T HAVIN' YO' CHICKEN-BABIES! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!

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I DUNNO. WHY YOU THINK I'M FREAKIN' OUT?!

Like I said: you're an idiot. It's not possible for you to have laid an egg.

Look, alls I know is Ribbons had a chicken-baby and she's a person, too, aight?!

And a girl. Even if people could lay eggs--which they can't--only women have babies. That's just basic knowledge.

This ain't 'xactly the most normal place, Red.

My name isn't Red. And unless you've been kidnapped lately, it's got nothing to do with the Malnosso either.

Well, what's yo' name then?

And I dunno 'bout those Malwhateva's, but things ain't normal 'round here.

[Not giving you a name. Sorry Beat.]

I know things aren't normal. But everything is either a village-wide experiment, or someone gets kidnapped first. No one else is laying eggs, and unless you've been taken, you still can't do it either.

[Then you'll be Red forever.]

Hey, who said I can't do it?! I can do whateva' I want!

[And you'll be an idiot forever. FOREVER]

No you can't! It's impossible for a guy to lay an egg!

[/SCREAM]

Well, I did! So there! I'm a goddamn miracle-maker!

More like a headache maker.

[FINE. If Beat wants to be dumb, he can be dumb.]

But if you're that determined to be an idiot, make sure you don't break it. Eggs are fragile.

I ain't gonna break it! Why you think I'm gonna break it?

Because you're a loud idiot.

Loud ain't got nothin' to do wit' how I'm gonna take care a' it!

It does if your kid is going to sleep! Shouting at every little thing that comes along will keep it up all night!

........Oh.

W-Well, I ain't gonna go shoutin' at night, yo. Even I know betta' than that.

Then what about during the day? Babies take naps, you know.

...They do?

But if they sleep at night, why they gotta sleep durin' the day too?

I don't know. They're babies. They just do.

Ugh, why they gotta be so complicicated?

Maybe you should've thought of that before you decided to lay an egg.

I DIDN'T DECIDE TO! It just kinda...happened!

Oh please. Take some responsibility for your actions.

Re: [voice]

skater-brain.livejournal.com - 2011-10-17 12:11 (UTC) - Expand

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