skaterbrain | ★3 voice

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★3 voice

[Beat woke up this morning, thinking things would be like always. He'd railslide downstairs, maybe not hit Haruhi's wall for once, check up on Shiki, then go hide from school by futzing around in the Battle Dome for most of the day.

What he got was rolling over and finding an egg.

An egg.

Housemates of House 10 can hear him screaming, as will neighbors most likely. In his panic, he grabs his journal and turns it on, facing the camera toward the little white egg in his bed.]

THE HELL DO I DO?! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!

RIBBONS!

I AIN'T HAVIN' YO' CHICKEN-BABIES! YOU CAN'T MAKE ME!!

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[ Sarcasm demands she spout off a quip like "magic," but she'll refrain from such a thing. ]

Maybe you left a window open.

[...Urge to troll: Rising.]

Well, you want to be sure to keep it warm and safe. If the air gets too cold, baby chickens could die.

Umm, maybe a Pokémon left it there!-- [Oh. Wait. No Pokémon here besides those that the trainers have. Baaaah.] Err... Maybe a chicken put it there? Or someone else? Or.. I-I don't know. Uhhhh.

If Ribbons is a chicken, they can lay eggs.

You are not a chicken. You cannot lay eggs.

[And you'll be an idiot forever. FOREVER]

No you can't! It's impossible for a guy to lay an egg!

...wow, Beat. I didn't think you had it in you. What are you going to do?

[He's just gonna be flat-out blunt now.]

People can't lay eggs. So you're not the dad.

It could be! Would you be so cruel as to abandon it, possibly stranding it with no parents to love and care for it?

Sorry, dude, it ain't my place to get in the way of parenthood!

... That's a pretty egg. D-Do you have to raise it?

[Beat, you can't have chicken-babies, you can just raise them.]

Is this "Ribbons" the mother? You will marry her, won't you?

I DIDN'T DO NOTHING. I ain't marryin' nobody! And Ribbons' gotta girlfriend anyways!

..... [Oh, Luka.

He sighs.]

I dunno, Pinky. People're sayin' all kindsa things and it's gettin' confusin'.

I AIN'T ITS PARENT!!

............................................I-

I-

...What'm I supposed ta' do?

Ribbons had an egg.

[Yes, he really believes this.]

[/SCREAM]

Well, I did! So there! I'm a goddamn miracle-maker!

...Ribbons ain't a chicken, G. She's mine and Shiki's housemate, yo.

But you've got the egg.

....Hey, you think Sekai left the egg? I mean, he's the only chicken I know, yo.

But I ain't its parent! I neva' even had a girlfriend, yo.

[You're not supposed to admit that sort of thing, Beat.]

Don't you know, dude? Chicks dig dads! [Just not the kind of 'chick' you'd want, Beat, ohoho.]

....That'd..suck. Aight, thanks, yo.

On the second floor?

[THINKING. He can get into windows on second floors, but that is with his board and his pins so...]

Yo, there any otha' psych users 'round here?

So what'm I supposed ta' do? Can boy chickens lay eggs? Cause Ribbons' got this kid, see, and he a chicken so...

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[Voice] /DOES NOT CARE that Beat had a thousand identical threads while I was away yesterday

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Beat, I am so sorry. XD

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LMAO he is so messed up for life now

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[Voice] 8D I DON'T MIND even if I'm super late /sob

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